“Every great and deep difficulty bears in itself its own solution. It forces us to change our thinking in order to find it.”

A lot of fear can be generated around seemingly unresolvable conflict. It can be especially frightening when the subject matter is separation, divorce, or creating a parenting plan, as the stakes are high. Often, one spouse does not want a divorce, and it can feel like you have been forced into an uncontrolled free-fall into a dark unknown.  In family and divorce mediation, I will assist you in creating a controlled, more informed, collaborative, and cooperative approach to your situation than things have probably been recently. 

Legal remedies for legal matters, such as Family Law, are typically sought through the court, also known as litigation.  Litigation is a process that was set up to deal with people breaking the law, not for transitioning families.  It usually requires each party to retain an attorney to "fight" for their interests.  A litigated divorce currently is taking a minimum of 18 months to navigate the judicial system, and it is not uncommon for a couple to still be married 3 years after they initiate the divorce.  Additionally, every divorce is unique, yet no court has the capacity to customize solutions to your family's needs. Your attorney will "fight" to get your needs met, but consider that your spouse's attorney will be doing the same thing, and ultimately, the judge will decide.  The outcome is out of your hands.  You will have each spent a minimum of $50-100K, significantly reducing the value of your assets, giving up a large chunk of time better suited to healing and moving on, and your relationships will most likely be in worse condition than they were when you started the process.

In divorce mediation, parties retain control of the outcome of their divorce.  I begin the process by engaging each spouse in a coaching session where we discuss where you are emotionally and mentally regarding your divorce.  We can explore ways to improve your preparedness for mediation so that you feel empowered to represent your interests at the table.  

In divorce mediation, you will be given the time and opportunity to create customized agreements around asset and debt division and spousal support.  As your mediator, I will direct the conversation to be more productive by helping you communicate your concerns and goals as well as assist you in hearing the concerns and goals of your spouse. By doing this, we create understanding. Understanding does not mean agreement, but it will assist each party to better accept the situation, the other person, and oneself as being less than perfect in stressful circumstances that rarely bring out the best in anyone. From this place, we can begin to develop an agreement that you can minimally live with and optimally even feel good about - and it will take far less time and expense than court.